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GetMeOffTheMoonRockman PMTRRL
Fan Fiction by Dashe
Unfriended

Facebook took the Bonnes' new base of operations by storm. It quickly became the pirating family's number-one boredom-buster, so it was no surprise that Tron found herself browsing her news feed one afternoon just because she had nothing better to do.

“Wow, Denise’s new haircut looks…boring…”Tron Bonne muttered as she glanced through her old rival’s photo album. “Glyde sent me a Friend Request? Ignore!” She exclaimed as she clicked her mouse button with a flourish. “It’s not like I haven’t got hundreds of others already. What difference does one make, anyway?”

She kicked a Servbot aside-–it had been trying to sneak a peek at Tron’s Facebook activities, not that it couldn’t tell what she’d been doing online itself. Tron had made sure to friend all of the minions she found Facebook accounts for as soon as she'd registered her own.

Admittedly, most of them were torn over whether or not to accept their mother’s friend request. When the first Servbot to actually ignore the request in question found himself thrown into the torture room, word traveled quickly. In fact, most of the Servbots took that as a warning to stay away from all social networking sites in the near future if they valued what little privacy they had.

“Hm, nothing interesting today…” she sighed. Then she immediately perked up and exclaimed, “I know! I’ll go Facebook-Stalk Mega Man! That always puts me in a good mood!”
She typed his name into the search bar at the top of the page and clicked “Mega Man Volnutt” when it popped up. To her shock and dismay, she was met with the following screen instead of the setup she'd grown accustomed to seeing over the past few months:

Facebook


The uninhibited wail of anguish that followed was loud enough that Teisel could hear it from his own room. It was soon followed by a crash that could only be the sound of Tron hurling her laptop at an unsuspecting Servbot. The older Bonne sibling sighed, minimized his browser, and plodded off in the direction of the sound, preparing for the worst. The way his sister burned through laptops it was no wonder they often had to go scrounging for parts just to keep the Draches running. By the time he got up to her room she was shaking with sobs and shouting, “HOW COULD HE!?!?!” over and over at anything that looked remotely intelligent.

“How could who what?” Teisel dared to ask.

Tron sniffled and hiccupped and blubbered something that sounded a lot like “Mechanics blended free” through her outright hysterics. Teisel frowned, scratched his head, and tried to understand what she’d just said, but Tron cut right in anyway and thankfully that message was somewhat clearer. “He UNFRIENDED me on FACEBOOK!” She elaborated through a teary haze of rage.

“This unnecessary display of outrage is over Facebook?” Teisel deadpanned, unsure as to whether to actually believe his sister was serious or not.

“Teisel, this is serious!” Tron insisted, violently stamping her foot for emphasis and crumpling one of #40’s paper airplanes in the process. “He took time out of his life to specifically and deliberately eliminate me from his online social network of over a thousand friends, family members and casual acquaintances and I don’t even know what I did to deserve it!”

Teisel grabbed Tron by the shoulder and guided her into a sitting position on her piano bench to minimize any further property damage. “You didn’t send this guy an unnecessary amount of game requests, did you? I know you don’t post unnecessarily personal status updates every other minute...or chains…at least not last time I checked…” he trailed off. “You aren’t getting into metaphorical song lyrics, are you?”

“Not at all!” Tron bawled. “I just don’t understaaaaand! It was like one day we were liking each other’s -hic- status updates and commenting on each other’s pictures and now we’re n-not even –hic-Facebook Friends anymoooore!”

Teisel thought a moment before he replied, “Well, the most logical possibility is that he just routinely cuts down his friends list and must not see you enough offline to warrant an online friendship.”

Tron couldn’t ignore the fact that every time she saw Mega Man in person, she was usually either insulting him or trying to blow him up. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she wondered why he’d even accepted her friend request in the first place. It made sense that Mega Man had just decided to evaluate his network and eliminate everyone on it who’d ever tried to kill him. “I guess you’re right, Teisel,” she sniffed back the last of her tears and managed a grin. “There’s always MySpace.”

“You are not reactivating your MySpace account.” Teisel warned, standing up and heaving a generous sigh as he prepared to go back to his own business. “I’d disown you without hesitation. And look on the bright side…it could be worse. I've got it pretty bad myself, I'll admit. For some reason I accepted that blue kid’s friend request about a month ago and he hasn’t stopped sending me FarmVille requests since then. In fact, right before I heard you screaming and throwing your laptop across the room, he’d just sent me an invite to cross-breed crops with him.” He shuddered at the prospect. “Even the sound of it seems somehow…wrong…awkward...” He trailed off, not wanting to go into further detail. Tron's face had already drained of all its color. She seemed too disgusted to even respond to that.

“Anyway, Tron, just remember, it could always be worse.” And with that, he left Tron to her own devices, confident that he'd solved the crisis once and for all.

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