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GetMeOffTheMoonRockman PMTRRL
Fan Fiction by Eric Chiz
The Kattelox Times; June 5594

MAYOR PROPOSES NEW HIGHWAY
Kattelox Mayor Ameila has raised the island's transportation budget, and proposed a new coastal highway for the island. The interstate would cost an estimated 10,000,000z, would be 4.5 kilometres long, and would be finished by summer 5596 if the proposal is accepted.

Critics of the Mayor's choice have made the points that it would be a large expense on the tax-payers, and that paving a road would affect the nature and scenery the highway is intended to promote to residents and tourists, however, no one denies that Kattelox is in deperate need for a highway. As quoted by one resident, "The island is huge, I mean, it takes forever just getting from one end of town to the other."

During the same announcement, the Mayor has also dropped hints that she may be toying with the idea of building some sort of rail system for the island within the next decade, or add another pile of crates outside of town to cater to a 2nd small aircraft and rezoning the land as an official airport.



GLOBAL WARMING AFFECTING CALINCA
The National Association of Terra's Urban and Rural Enviroments, or NATURE, has released news that they're seeing disturbing increases in temperature in Yosyonke and surrounding locations, but that neighbouring islands are largely unaffected and distant islands should see little to no change in climate. They have speculated that this is the result of long-term effects of the continued missile testing off the coast of Calbania in the south, and that air currents have pushed fallout north.

The leading enviromental researchers and meteorologists predict that if the climate continues to warm at it's current rate of 0.3*C every year, in approximately 80 years, Yosyonke might actually become a nice place to live.

Some residents are a little concerned over the possible boom of tourism in the city, but with the promise of a healthy economy as a result, most are warming up to the idea.



AZURE SEQUEL UNLIKELY
Kattleox Video Game Design Studios (KXVG on the Nino Stock Exchange; 0.13z, 74.85z) has announced that they are discontinuing their 'Future Azure Warrior' series to pursue other, newer series. This has disgruntled many fans of the series and the company, who feel the studio has failed them by not producing a conclusion and tying up loose strings in the game universe, instead focusing on games like the long-running 'Zombie Nights' and the recently released 'Super Fantastic Lawman: For Great Justice'. In a short message from the series director, "I love the series, I really do, but it doesn't fit into the direction we want to take this company."

'Future Azure Warrior' was released back in 5583 and was met with high reviews, and spawned 2 sequels.



GOLD CITY ANIMAL CLINIC DESTROYED!
This week the newly-built Animal Clinic in Gold City was destroyed by a clan of rogue air pirates, believed to be the Bonne family. "We figure the pirates saw last month's press release as a challenge," Police officer Denise Marmalade said at the scene. No animals were harmed in the attacks, but a few nurses and veterinarians were covered in black soot when emerging from the building.

This month's issue has been sponsored by:

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