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GetMeOffTheMoonRockman PMTRRL
Fan Fiction by Eric Chiz
The Kattelox Times; February 5595

MAYOR COMES CLEAN IN COURT
This week in court, Mayor Ameila admitted to involvement with the 'Refractor Cartel', and City Hall has published a statement detailing her 40 years history of involvement with Loathe Inc after being named by the tesimony of a Diggers' Guild worker mid-November. We've been granted permission to print a condensed version prepared by our editors, so you can read for yourself her perspective on these issues and what could very well become a made-for-TV movie sometime in the next few years. For the full version of the document, visit City Hall, or call KL5-GOVT.

Well, to be honest, it started back in 5546, when I was 21...I was attending Gold City University, and was in my 3rd year...I was having financial problems and couldn't afford the tuition...I didn't qualify for a student loan, and my job as Professor Barrell Caskett's teaching assistant wasn't paying the bills... It was the 1st week of classes, and a dormmate gave me the opportunity to talk to what she called was a 'businessman' who invested in people needing to pay for their education...that businessman introduced himself as Lex Loath, and loaned me all of the money I needed with the condition that I'd pay it off working for his company after I was out of school. I agreed, because, at the time, it sounded like a great deal - get funding for schooling and a guaranteed position in a corporation when I'm done?

That year, I started seeing Barrell outside of classes, and a relationship grew...we had a baby boy late 5547, around when our relationship became known to the school administration and fired Barrell for having a student-teacher relationship...and since I didn't have a job anymore, I had to borrow even more money from Loath Inc. to pay for my 4th year...

Jump ahead to 5549, a year after I graduated and Barrell and I had married...Barrell had started getting into independent archaelogical studies, occasionally going into ruins with professional diggers to study hands on. It was about this time that a collector from Loath Inc. had shown up demanding he be repaid in full - plus the 200% usery I apparently agreed to - or to come with him to work for Loath Inc. to repay my debt. Since neither of us had that sort of money, I agreed to work for Loath. Barrell was furious when he found out that I had dealings with a man who had turned digging into a for-profit industry, and a few months later, we ended up getting a divorce... I felt that I didn't want our little Banner to be punished for my mistakes, so Barrel agreed to raise him...

I spent 5 years working at one of Loath's banking centres when Loath decided that, since I had a degree in law, I should get into politics to help them with the Katteloxian government which had started to give them problems. Throughout the next 15 years I held various positions in city hall, doing minor things to help Loath Inc. get ahead...in 5570 I ran for Mayor and got in because Loath helped fix the count. Since then I've been paying them a large portion of tax dollars, as well as changing various laws to make what they do more legal...

12 years later in 5583, I had found out that Loath Inc had been busted for various criminal charges, so I cut off all connections with them, and tried to run a clean government...with the added money, we used it on a city beautification project...the next year, there was the famous pirate attack of 5584, which destroyed most of the town and exhausted our budget...and I knew if I didn't go back to Loath, the city would've stayed in a financial crisis, and I would've been elected out, left with nothing...

So now for the last 10 years, it's just been one stupid mistake after another...borrowing money for a proper airport, the highway, building Loath's casino on the edge of the island...

I don't care what happens to me anymore. I'm disgusted with myself that I did all those things...but if it changes anything, I really want to see Loath and his company shut down for good.

It seems like a bit of a stretch, but if what she says is true, she would have all the evidence to lock Loath and his associates away for the rest of their lives.

This month's issue has been sponsored by:

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