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GetMeOffTheMoonRockman PMTRRL
Fan Fiction by Eric Chiz
The Kattelox Times; April 5595

RESEARCH PROJECT TAKES ON RAILROAD RUMOURS

Dr. Williams and his team of scientists, capitalizing on their success of unlocking the mysteries of the Katteloxian dark grass conundrum, have moved forward to tackle another great wonder of our world - the abandoned GCR lines. Local rumour states that the railroad was shut down 50-some years ago because no matter how far along or how fast the train would travel, it never seemed to get much beyond 5 minutes distance from Yosyonke, and that there exists some sort of ancient technology active, preventing people from heading eastward to meet with their loved ones.

In a short release by the team, it states that their goal is "...to determine the rumour's validity, and more importantly, [...] what might be causing it if this truly is the case." It goes on to state that "...there is no doubt that we could be dealing with previously unknown technology that could manipulate physical space and time... [...] The Ancients were a smart people. They could have done this easily."

Given Dr. Williams' rather anticlimactic conclusions on many of his past research projects, we at the Times aren't holding our breaths for any spectacular or revolutionary discoveries, but it will be nice to see another bizarre myth debunked and possibly even see the reopening of Grand Calincian Railway in the near future.



ASTRONOMERS DISCOVER CURIOUS-LOOKING MOON

Man has always been fascinated by the unknown, such as how we're on Terra to begin with, where the Ancients came from, and if there are any others like us in the universe. One of those questions may have been answered last week, as a report was published in Ryship Gazette of a newly-found, and somewhat unusual, moon orbiting a nearby planet.

The report said, quote, "It's a fairly normal sized moon, but it's surface curiously appears to have a large glyph on it, similar in proportions to one often found in markings in local ruins. It's likely to just be a coincidence, of course, like craters forming the face of a grinning man often seen on our own [moon]."

While many in the astronomy community have dismissed the glyph as a coincidence, it has given rise to a number of theories or ideas that there could be an entirely different civilization elsewhere, and that there's a government conspiracy to cover up that information from the common folk. Coincidentally, since the report, at least 8 people have come forward with stories of abductions and experiments by "Reaverbot-people from space".



LANDSLIDE DESTROYS CLOTHING STORE AND LEAVES 8 HOMELESS

The Gold City fire dept. were phoned around 6PM last night to tend to an incident that had occurred during the grand opening of Tailor Chinos' newly-built location. Official word was that the ground underneath the building had become unstable due to several decades of punishment from what occupied the site previously - the old Animal Clinic. The result was that 5 buildings - 4 houses and the business - along with a sizable chunk of the coastal highway, fell into the ocean and promptly sunk. There were approximately 20 injuries, but no deaths.

In a short comment at the hospital, the owner said, "It was the furs. I shouldn't've pushed it; I shouldn't've stocked the animal furs."

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