The Kattelox Times

May 5594

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WILD ANIMAL CAPTURED!
Earlier this week, KTOX-TV received reports of a small brown animal running around Kattelox. However, yesterday afternoon, the Inspector issued a press release, announcing the capture of the creature. "We have successfully detained the creature," the letter reads. "We are holding it until we can determine what it would be best suited for. If domestication is possible, it might make an interesting pet to anyone courageous enough to take it in." One townsperson recounts his encounter with the creature: "I was scared for my life. The way it was squeaking at me and shaking back and forth, I thought it was rabid!"
Continued on Page 2

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GOLD CITY ANIMAL CLINIC REBUILT!
Today marks the unveiling of the new Animal Clinic on the outskirts of Gold City. "We thank the generous donations from animal lovers in the neighbourhood and from donors as far west as Nino Island." the head nurse said at the grand opening gala. "Our new clinic has reinforced, 2 foot thick iron walls that we believe will keep your pets safe while they're being treated here..." Readers may remember the repeated destruction of the Animal Clinic 11 years ago after being marked as a target by Air Pirates.
Continued on Page 7

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RECORD STORE CLOSES IT'S DOORS
High-Necked Records has closed it's doors for good last night. After 15 years of business, the shop ran into financial difficulties last month and apple market analysts weren't confident on it pulling out of it's slump. "It's not hard to see why," the shop owner said in a phone interview this morning. "No one actually bought anything. Everyone just listened to the demos."

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