Legends of the Halcyon Era

Episode 6 - The Devil's Yard Journey, Part 4

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Author Notes October 10, 2022: This is where things get a bit strange. More so than usual. Check out the notes at the end for a little more insight into that.

Deep within the cavern, the travelers neared the end of their impromptu rest period.

Outside the soundproof tent, the Air Pirate Xenos Geist was sleeping inside his mech like a very noisy baby. Inside the soundproof tent, Nytetrayn had his head covered by his pillow as he wondered what the lax qualifications were that allowed a tent to be certified as "soundproof."

Fenix sat up, stretching and yawning widely before he picked up on the noise. He nudged Nyte. "Hey, wake up! I think Yog-Sothoth is back! Or maybe his louder, angrier mother!"

"It's not Yog," said Nyte, muffled slightly from underneath his pillow. "That's just Xenos. He's been doing that for a while now." Groggily sitting up, he added, "I have no idea how you two were able to sleep through that."

In the middle of his snoring, Xenos made an odd sound as he popped awake for a moment. "Huh... whnah?" was all he said before falling back asleep again.

As Janine sat up and stretched a little, rubbing her neck in a distracted manner, Fenix asked Nyte, "Wait, so you mean you haven't slept this entire time? Did... did you wanna...?"

"I'll be fine," Nyte replied, wondering if he shouldn't have just sat watch anyway. On the other hand, had Xenos been inside the tent, that wouldn't have done Jan any good.

"I'm feeling a lot better," she said. "Thanks, guys."

Xenos let out another unnatural sound, causing Janine's eyes to widen in alarm. "Did Yog...?" she began to ask.

"Xenos," both Diggers replied at once.

Meanwhile, at the entrance to the chamber, a familiar head poked into the room and looked around, muttering to himself, "M-m-mech...?! Great."

No sooner did the words leave his mouth than the mech suddenly sprang to life, lifting upward and making an awful racket as bright lights flashed around. "Warning! Warning! Braindead alert! Braindead alert!"

"Dammit!" shouted the interloper among interlopers, now that his cover had been blown.

Xenos snapped awake. "Alright, you brain-eating necrotic sons of bitches, where are ya!?" he shouted as targeting sensors from his mech locked on to the source of the noise and a small arsenal of weapons prepped themselves.

"Wait, what?!" said the newcomer, who stood in the doorway with hands in the air and confusion on his face.

Looking at the figure in the doorway, Xenos squinted and adjusted his pince-nez glasses for a better look. "You're not dead... are you?"

"Yipe! No!" the intruder replied. "And I don't wanna be, either!"

"Okay, then. I guess I don't need to kill you."

"Great! ...now, can you do something about all the red dots shining on my forehead? It's really bringing some old anxieties about acne back to the surface."

"Sure, sure," Xenos said, before casting a wary eye back at the stranger. "You don't deal in anything like raising cadavers to torture poor busty young ladies, do you?"

"That's oddly specific, but no."

Fenix finally got the tent flap open, and said, "Xenos! Just shoot the guy, and... oh, wait, he's not rotting."

As Nyte peered out to see who their guest was, blinking and with a head full of messed-up hair, he asked, "Wow, Fenix, how hard was it to get that lead?"

"...what?"

"Never mind," Nyte said, noticing the stranger's distinctive black jacket with flame-emblazoned sleeves. "Hey, Adam. How'd you get here?"

"Hi Adam," said Fenix, before turning his attention to Nyte. "This place is sort of famous, but not really considered a dig site."

"What I mean is, with all the locked doors and – eh, forget it. I already don't care any more."

Xenos turned to Nyte and Fenix. "So... he's not a sneaky little necromantic psychopath?"

"That we know of," said Fenix.

"Yeah, we just sort of met and had dinner that one time," Nyte added.

"He doesn't look like one," said Janine, as she popped her head through the tent opening, causing the three to look like a rather odd totem pole for a moment before hopping out. She floated over to Adam Powers, giving him the 360 degree lookaround. "Oh yeah, I remember you."

"No, no!" Adam said. "I'm just a Digger."

"Okie-dokie," Xenos said, as he disengaged his armor's weapons systems, its antenna wagging like a tail. Adam exhaled, breathing a little more easily now that he didn't have several red targeting sight lasers shining on his forehead.

"So!" said Fenix. "We ready for another day of shooting evil demons and whatnot?"

"Demons, eh?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow under his shades.

"That, the undead... various crap," Nyte said.

"Demons?" said Xenos. "You mean there are things in here other than the four – er, five of us that's not dead? Though, I guess that last guy was more of a demon than a walking corpse, wasn't he?"

"That last guy was just creepy," said Fenix.

"So," Adam said, "who would the man in the mech be?"

"That is our good friend, Xenos," Fenix told the smiling Adam, before adding, "the Air Pirate." Adam's expression dropped.

"I am Xenos Maximillian Amadeus Wolfgang Stein Geist the Sixth, a... ah, well, for now 'pirate' shall do. I've recently teamed up with these two gentlemen in the pursuit of... well... why did I team up with you guys?"

"To find assloads of treasure," said Fenix.

"Ah, yes! That was it!"

"Which," Fenix added, "I am sure is down here... somewhere."

"That sums it up rather nicely," Nyte said.

"Ah, whatever," said Adam. "As long as you aren't raiding villages right now, I don't care."

"Oh, that'll be as soon as we're done with this dig!" Xenos explained cheerfully. "Nyte and Janine here are quite interested in trying new things."

Nyte just awkwardly rubbed the back of his head a little as he looked away.

After a moment of speechlessness, Adam just said, "Whatever..."

"If you insist, I can try to avoid your hometown," Xenos offered, beaming with pride as dreams of stealing little lollipops from two-year-olds danced through his head, "but I'd rather need to know where that is."

Fenix silently gave Xenos a sidelong glance as he caressed his Gatling Arm.

"I have no hometown anymore," Adam said with a faraway look on his face, which dropped after a moment.

"So!" Janine said, breaking the tension. "We gonna head back to the main hall so we can try and get out of here, or what?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," said Xenos.

Fenix led the group back through the tunnel known as Potter's Field," the only zombies encountered being the remains of those they'd dealt with earlier.

They soon found themselves back in the main hall, a hexagon-shaped chamber comprised of decaying, slimy, stained gray stone. As the last of the travelers stepped through, the black, stained-wood door which had led them to Potter's Field slammed shut behind them.

As they looked around the chamber for their next objective, their eyes returned to where the door to Potter's Field had been, only to find it was no longer there.

"I hope you didn't accidentally leave the keys to your ship in there," Nyte told Xenos. After a wide-eyed moment of panic and realization before feeling around his person, the Air Pirate breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"So, what now?" Janine asked.

"Whatever the writing says is after Potter's Field," said Xenos.

"Let's see," Fenix said, as he recited the words they'd found before:

Potter's Field filled with death...
The Moon-Bog covered in ancient breath...
The Nameless City with horror's silent wings...
Sarnath doomed with far worse things...
The Neconomicon, book of darkness and dead god's power...
Open the door to strike the hour!

"Cheery," said Janine.

"So, the Moon-Bog," Xenos said.

The group looked to the leftmost passageway, guarded by a metal door with a wet, slimy texture.. Adorning the gateway to the unknown was a symbol that represented a crescent moon.

"Ew, slimy," said Fenix. "Nyte, you wanna open this one?"

"Nah, after you."

With that, Fenix kicked the door in, which to his surprise opened noiselessly.

"Subtle," Nyte said.

"I am not a subtle man, Nytetrayn," Fenix said as he stepped into the hallway.

As the group followed Fenix in, they noticed the tunnel was larger and better-lit than their previous venture. It seemed to be made of metal, but was covered in a thin film of some viscous liquid. A musky odor wafted throughout; rather than the predominant scent of death, it felt as though this horrible smell belonged to something that was not only unknown and unseen, but also... alive.

Xenos promptly turned on his suit's air conditioner in an effort to keep the outside air from entering.

An unusual skittering and scratching heralded the arrival of a number of short creatures. About three feet in height and hunched over, they would resemble short humans in simple robes, were it not for the wrinkled hands and feet bearing animalistic claws poking out of the garments' openings. But this didn't betray their inhuman identities so much as the heads, with faces resembling those of crocodiles, or dolphins, or perhaps some unholy union of the two. Their jaws jutted out sickeningly, just as their foreheads protruded forth in grotesque fashion, all wrapped in a skin which seemed reptilian in nature.

As their eyes shined feverishly upon the intruders, they began to shriek and gibber excitedly in a bizarre tongue that was clearly not English, but was nevertheless unmistakably reminiscent of some spoken language from long ago.

"Oh my god," said Janine, as she tried to process what she was seeing.

"Uh," Nyte said. "Okay, I think I've got this."

The young Digger stepped forward, clearing his throat before speaking up in a clear voice:

"Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong?"

As though they'd reached a decision, one of the creatures retreated back down the tunnel from whence it came, while the other three reared up to their full-yet-diminutive heights, screaming in a thoroughly inhuman way and rushing the group, intent upon tearing the interlopers to shreds.

"Jesus!" Fenix shouted, mowing one down with his Gatling Arm.

Likewise, the others opened fire with their various armaments, the creatures squealing and screaming as they're reduced to shreds. That is, all but Janine, who projected an energy shield with which to protect herself.

"Now then," said Xenos, "what the hell was that? Those things, and what Nyte said!"

Janine said, "I didn't know you spoke in tongues, Nyte."

"I don't."

"Then what was...?"

"The Universal Greeting."

"O-kay..."

"I think," Fenix began, as he examined the remains, "I think they used to be alive."

"Good," said Xenos. " I was getting tired of the living dead."

"Yeah, and now they're hamburger," said Adam. "Your point?"

"How in God's name did living creatures survive down here for the hundreds or so years it seems to have been since this place was disturbed?"

"Maybe they ate the undead or something, I don't know. There might be an answer deeper in."

"Um, hm," Xenos pondered. "Do we want to know?"

"I sure as hell don't," said Janine.

"Maybe they have a garden?" suggested Nyte.

"Not really, though it might be an interesting side note," Adam said. "I got a sample of that language they were speaking, I'll analyze it later. For now, let's keep going."

The group proceeded down the path laid out before them, Janine staying behind Adam, hugging herself as she walked.

"Uh, what if there are more of those things?" Nyte asked.

"We kill them," Fenix said matter-of-factly.

"It's not like they were that hard to get rid of," added Adam.

"But, they're alive," Janine said. "Not zombies or robots or something like that, they're living creatures. Do we have a right to just indiscriminately slaughter them?"

"Ooh," said Xenos. "I hope they didn't just want to say 'hi'."

"They sure as hell didn't act friendly in my book," Fenix said. "If clawing people is their way of saying hello, I think we one-upped 'em."

"Well, I tried to make peace," said Nytetrayn. "Instead, I guess we made pieces."

"Maybe scaring the crap out of guests is a ritual greeting in their culture," said Xenos.

"If it is, I imagine they'd be used to the reaction," said Fenix.

"Maybe they weren't trying to scare us, that's just what it looked like," suggested Nyte.

"Well, let's not shoot the next batch, then," said Fenix. "Jan has energy shielding and whatnot, we can keep them at a distance and try to figure out whatever the hell it is they want."

"'Course, once they find out we butchered their friends, they may not care," said Nyte.

"Anyway," said Fenix, "let's hurry on."

With that, the group picked up the pace and moved quickly down the tunnel, with Xenos putting his suit into "dog" mode, following and wagging its tail as Janine followed at a distance, looking at Xenos oddly.

"Something just occurred to me," said Nytetrayn. "What if those things are making that smell?"

"It's a possibility," said Adam.

"So?" Xenos said. "You guys smell, and I haven't set myself to filling you with holes."

Picking up what Nytetrayn was getting at, Fenix said, "But, if there's enough of them to fill this hall with it..."

"...right," said the Air Pirate.

"Bad mojo."

As the path began to curve towards the left, it also started slanting ever-so slightly downward. The incline was not steep, but the amount of time the travelers spent following it would indicate that they were gradually delving quite deep into the bowels of the earth.

Suddenly, a hideous chorus of screams echoed throughout the halls, before a horde of the stooped creatures rushed out of the slimy depths, gnashing their teeth and waving razor-sharp claws. The cavern quickly filled with their unearthly vocalizations, accompanied by the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Janine stepped forward and filled the diameter of the hall with a large force field. The creatures ran head-on into it and remained there, squealing and clawing at the energy barrier.

"I"m not sure I can hold them all off," she said. "I'm not used to making shields this big."

"Let's watch them," Xenos said, "and see if they seem to have a particular blood lust."

"I think their blood lust is for us," Nyte said as he readied his own Buster.

"Indeed," added Fenix.

"My thoughts exactly," said Adam, as he readied his own Buster and aimed at one of the creatures' heads, holding his fire.

As the creatures carried on, they shrieked bizarre words at the group, words which sounded like oddly insulting epithets.

"I can just set them on fire or something, you know," Jan said.

"Alright then," Nyte shrugged, and the others gave their approval as well. Janine frowned, then flexed her arms, which caused the energy shield to become more visible as it took on a bright orange hue. The creatures responded by letting out a chorus of bizarre screams as their clothing caught fire around them, and they ran for their lives, hurling still more alien curses at the travelers as they went.

"So, Adam, did you sample that?" Nyte asked cheekily.

"We simply must get a translator," Xenos said, while Janine let the field drop, before joining it as she sank to her knees. "Woah!" he said, turning his full attention to her and hopping out of his armor to kneel down next to her. "You alright?"

"Y-yeah," Janine said, shuddering. "I don;t understand why I'm so tired all of a sudden... my powers never wore out like this before..."

"Right, that's the last time we pull something like that," said Xenos.

"You need any help?" Nyte asked.

"I'm okay, just a little dizzy," she said, as she looked around.

"Something's going on here that's affecting you, I guess," Xenos suggested, as he helped her to her feet.

"Maybe she's solar-powered?" said Nyte.

"I don't think so," said Adam, "because otherwise she wouldn't have survived in the ruin where you found her."

"Maybe she could, inside that thing she was in?"

"Bad memories," Janine said.

"Of course!" Fenix said, snapping his fingers upon hearing that. "If you'd been locked in a dungeon like this for centuries, of course you wouldn't feel your best if you were brought back into one.

"Wow," he added. "A Reaverbot with claustrophobia..."

"Okay," Xenos said. "We're getting topside A.S.A.P. and getting Janine into fresh-air, mmm'kay?"

"I don't think we're gonna get out of here anytime soon, guys," she said.

"I realize that, but we can't dawdle."

Snarling, Fenix pounded his right fist into his left hand. "I really wish I'd ignored that stupid newspaper clipping."

"Are all digs like this?" Xenos asked.

"No," said Janine. "In my experience, they usually end up with the Digger getting killed."

Everyone else just looked at Janine.

"...but we seem okay, so far."

"No," said Adam, "they usually lack the undead and the ancient, bloodthirsty creatures, and they don't stink near as badly. Although the Reaverbots do like to try to kill you..."

"Most digs are bots, puzzles, and refractors," said Nytetrayn. "This has had none of the above so far."

"...there has been some treasure, here and there..." Fenix said, albeit meekly.

"Yeah," said Xenos, "my experience with digs tends to amount to robbing people blind as they exit, so..."

Fenix glared balefully at the Air Pirate.

"Oh," said Xenos. "So you're fine with the person who kills your kind, but if I happen to steal from a Digger here and there, I'm the devil? Fine."

"Janine didn't have a lot of choice," Fenix said. "She was trapped in a ruin with kangaroos endlessly thumping. "You make a living by causing other people to suffer."

Janine blanched.

"Ixnay on the angarookay," said Xenos.

"Oh, whatever," said Nyte. "Let's just keep going."

Fenix turned and continued down the hall, making a rumbling noise like approaching thunder as he walked. Nyte and Adam followed.

"I think he's been holding that in for quite some time," said Janine.

"Eh, he can take a shot at me if he wants. I'm used to it," said Xenos, a little calmer and less jovial than before.

"Just watch yourself... he and Nyte beat me, after all."

"You good to go?"

"Yeah! Let's go!"

Xenos climbed back inside his mech, as Janine floated up and perched herself on its left shoulder, and they proceeded down the hall after the others.

Eventually, the tunnel opened up into a small, domed room, with another tunnel leading out of it immediately to the right of the doorway the group entered from. It was empty, all but for two box-like structures in the room's center. Each was made of wood and glass stained to such a degree that the contents could not be determined by simply trying to peer through it. The hinges remained in fine condition, and the boxes were not locked.

While Adam approached one case and examined it closely, Nyte checked the other for traps, but detected none.

Adam slowly opened the case, revealing the mummified body of a reptile creature, dressed in ornamental garb and bedecked with gold and jewels, seeming to indicate that it was once a personage of no small honor. It was both grisly and unsettling, but at least there didn't seem to be any sort of trap.

"I think this is some sort of tomb," Adam said. "Like a place for the kings of those creatures to be buried."

Meanwhile, Nytetrayn cautiously opened his chest from the side, and discovered it was filled to bursting with small refractor shards, easily worth several thousand zenny.

Nytetrayn looked at the contents of his chest, then over to Adam's, then back to his, before he started scooping out refractors. He paused. "Uh, is this considered sacrilege, or anything?"

"We do it all the time, anyway," Fenix assured him.

"Good point," the younger Digger replied before resuming his scooping and collecting until there was no more left to gather. "I just don't remember anything near a coffin with a royally decorated corpse, is all."

As Nytetrayn helped himself to refractor shards, Adam pulled a few jewels and other fancy knick-knacks out of the coffin, pushing them into his pack.

"I'd be careful with the corpse's jewels if I were you," said Xenos.

"Yeah, they may've been his family's," Nyte said.

"I'm only taking the loose ones, and I'm leaving the gold," said Adam. "Too heavy and awkward to carry. At least, with all the other crap I carry around."

"Fine," said Xenos, in an almost awkwardly sober manner. "But you deal with the mummy when they wake up."

"You okay, Xenos?" Janine asked.

"I'm fine," he said, to which she shrugged.

"Well, then," said Fenix, "shall we go on?"

The others agreed, and so they began down the next hallway.

It was a while and some distance before the assembled group arrived at another branch. Or rather, it was another, smaller hallway, through which another small, domed room could be seen.

"Great," said Adam, while Nyte mulled the situation over. "Domed rooms have shown to be bad," said Xenos.

Fenix, however, walked on ahead into the room, without regard for any possible dangers. The others followed, and inside, they found that this room had an occupant. While its head and body resembled that of a hippopotamus, the hands and arms were more humanlike in nature, as was the laughter which emanated from deep within its throat.

As the monstrosity shuffled forward, continuing to cackle insanely, Fenix silently drew his beam sabers, while Nyte followed his cue by quietly converting his Buster to Saber mode.

The pair slashed at the creature in sequence, forcing it to back away screaming as it held fast to a cut on its chest. It quickly regained its bearings and leaped forward at the Diggers, swatting at Nyte's head. It wouldn't connect, however, as Fenix jumped between it and Nyte, taking the blow to his helmet and dropping to his knees.

Xenos opened fire with the Buster cannons on his suit, while Adam joined in with his own Buster. Not taking any chances, Nyte rolled clear to line up a shot, and joined in with his Gatling Buster as well. Between the three, fountains of blood would open up as the beast was punctured with a multitude of blasts.

Fenix got back to his feet and drove his sabers straight into the monster's belly, while Janine appeared above Nyte, her eyes glowing a fierce orange as her body was surrounded by flaming energy.

"That's about enough of that," she said as she released a stream of fiery power that tore the beast's head from its shoulders, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

Fenix fell back to a sitting position, breathing heavily as Nyte went to check on him, the others soon gathering around as well. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Fenix said, swaying a little as Nyte helped him to his feet. "Just... ow, he got a good one."

"You going to be able to move alright?"

"Yuh-yeah," Fenix said as he shook his head slowly, a trickle of blood running down his neck.

Xenos let out a curse as he had the mech sit down in a more stationary configuration. Pulling out his first aid kit, he rushed up to Fenix.

"What? It's not like I'm bleeding or – oh, wait. I am."

"Take off your helmet," Adam said as he moved in close.

This made Fenix twitch a little. "Why?"

"You're bleeding," Xenos said. "Your head is, or your neck is, I can't tell."

"Because the blood is coming from under your helmet," Adam added. "You might have a concussion."

Fenix hesitated, then removed his helmet to reveal the "skullet" of black hair that hung below a mechanical implant, his circular red bionic eye implants, and the various scarring that adorned his pale head.

As Xenos checked Fenix's head gently, taking care not to cause further harm, Nyte asked Janine, "Hey, you have any healing powers, in addition to being able to fry munchkins at 20 paces?"

"Nope, sorry," she replied. "I'm a bureaucratic model, not a medical unit."

Finding a shallow cut on the upper-right side of Fenix's head, Xenos said, "Well, it's not too bad now, but without treatment and padding, this could get rather nasty. How do you feel, Fenix?"

"A little light-headed, but I've found that's typical after being struck in the head."

"How do you know the difference?" asked Nyte.

"Any fatigue?" the pirate asked, as he applied bandages and gauze.

"Not especially... just the typical after fight letdown. You know, loss of adrenaline, and all that."

"I think you'll be okay," said Adam.

"Well," said Janine, "let's sit down in this room Fenix fearlessly liberated. Give him a chance to rest."

"Sounds good," said Nyte. "And if he still feels light-headed, he can sit on Xenos' other shoulder."

"I'm fine," Fenix said, after a pause.

Adam began looking around the room, when suddenly, a massive hand reached out and grabbed him. Before anyone could react, it yanked him up into the darkness of the ceiling.

Stunned, the others looked at each other quietly for a moment before Janine broke the silence.

"You don't see that every day."

"Maybe it was that stuff he snatched from the dead guy?" Nytetrayn suggested.

"Maybe," Fenix said, while Xenos ran a scanner sweep on the ceiling, turning up nothing.

Before they could give any further consideration, another hand – or possibly the same hand, no one could tell at a glance – fell to the ground before the group. It deposited here a pitiful specimen in black armor, before extending its middle finger at whatever it had placed there before returning to the ceiling's shadows.

The travelers stared blankly as the figure sat up.

"Damn, I'm thirsty," Black Steel said.

"You!" Xenos exclaimed in utter disbelief.

Black Steel looked around until he spotted Xenos. "Whoa, it's you!"

"Hey," Black Steel said as he leaped to his feet. "Wanna get together for coffee again sometime?"

"You know him?" Nyte asked.

"Yeah," Xenos said with some degree of grief in his voice. "He gave me quite a ride, and we wound up losing the refractor..."

"Well, a new face," Janine said as she hopped down and floated over to the newcomer, looking him over.

"One that can relate to you, no less," Nyte told Janine, which cracked Fenix up.

"Hey, it's the Kangaroo guys too!" Steel said as he spotted Nyte and Fenix.

"Oh, you poor thing," she said, as she patted him on the shoulder.

As she did this, Steel asked, "What? Is there something in my armor?" He then tried without success to look at his back, toppling over onto himself and going into a spin, hitting the far wall.

"Hmmm... yeah, I think there's a scuff back there," he said as he lay in a heap.

"Well, now there certainly is," Xenos said as he tried to hold back laughter.

"Lose one acquaintance, gain another," Nytetrayn mused, before a thought occurred to him. "You two aren't the same guy, are you?"

"That'd be interesting," said Xenos.

"Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... what have I missed?" asked the newcomer.

"Oh, fighting evil tiny lizard creatures, etcetera," said Fenix.

Xenos ticked off a checklist on his fingers as he said, "Talking disembodied heads, armies of the undead, little talking monsters, and Nyte speaking in tongues."

"Nothing unusual, I see," said Steel.

"They didn't really talk," Fenix said. "Not in any language we can understand. Oh, and Janine set a lot of them on fire."

"And I wasn't speaking in tongues!" Nyte protested. "I saw it in a movie!"

Steel took note of the room's circular wall, which sported two small alcoves, each containing a small, metallic object. He wandered over to one of the items, picking it up and examining it curiously. It looked like some sort of electromagnet, but without a power source, while slots and wires on its outer casing seemed to indicate it should be attached to something. Rather than a power switch, it appeared to have a trigger instead.

"Hey guys, what's this?"

"Been a Digger long, Steel?" Xenos asked with a look of total disbelief spread across his face.

"All my life!" he said cheerfully.

Examining the shape of the object, he moved across the room to carefully examine the other object, which was a battery that seemed to fit the magnet. "Hmm," he said loudly, before merging the two.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Nyte said.

"Of course I don't!"

"If you just woke the devil of this place..." Xenos said, trailing off.

"I like this guy!" Janine said happily.

"It's a gun, isn't it?" Xenos asked.

"It will be," Fenix said, "but there's nothing to direct the energy. There's a few pieces missing, I think."

"Huh," said Steel, who looked over the combined item. "I thought it was a dental instrument... or one of those nifty black head removers. Ah, well. Wonder how it works?"

With that, Steel pointed it randomly and pulled the trigger, letting loose an arc of electricity that shot through the air, nearly singing Janine's hair.

"Wow," he said. "This would make a nifty toaster."

"Toaster, my ass!" Xenos said, preparing to move to take the item from Steel. But before he could, Steel had dropped a supply pack from out of nowhere and produced a loaf of bread, which he promptly used to make toast with his new toy.

"Mppphmmmppphhhh!" he said, which the others could only figure from the pleased expression on his face translated to "tastes great!"

Janine tried to use her own abilities to make toast, but only ended up turning the bread into a pile of ashes.

"The trick is to fire the bolts in spurts!" Steel said as he demonstrated. Janine tried setting the corner of the bread on her finger and zapped it with flaming bolts of energy, only to once more reduce it to black, powdery char.

"Ah, well... ya' just need practice is all," said Steel.

"Yeah..." said Janine, but before she could say anything more...

"But let us not waste time! Forward! To... whatever is here!"

"Yes!" said Nytetrayn. "And you can lead!"

With that, Steel headed over towards the wall. As Fenix replaced his helm atop his head, Nyte grabbed him by the cape and pulled him back for a moment and whispered, "Hey, is it just me, or does something about Steel seem a little... different than last time?"

The two stood there and watched as Steel fumbled with his newfound plaything, before blasting the wall with the magnetic gun, sending sparks over the general vicinity and leaving a char mark shaped like Elvis where he'd been aiming. "Ooooooooooohhhh," he said.

"Hey! Cool 'do that guy has," said Xenos.

Fenix shrugged. "I 'unno, seems about like how I remember him."

"I wonder if I can make it look like that Rockman guy I read manga on," Steel said as he kept trying to fry the wall.

Nyte just shook his head, before taking cover behind Xenos' mech as more sparks flew.

"Listen," Xenos said, as his guns whirred to life and took aim at the wall. "If you want to put a hole in the wall, you need real firepower!"

"Oh, you mean like these?" Steel said as he produced a pair of huge shoulder-mounted cannons that snapped onto his armor from his deceptively small bag.

"I love it when he does that," Fenix said, while Janine cheered the Digger on.

Smiling merrily, Steel took aim at the wall, pulled the trigger, and... nothing happened.

"Oh darn," he said. "I forgot to buy more shells."

"Hm, maybe it is just my imagination," Nyte muttered to himself.

"And I wanted to see the pretty fireworks," Xenos said in a mopey tone.

As he put the cannons away, Steel asked, "Will this do?" He then produced a few pounds of high explosives.

"Yeah," said Xenos, eyes wide.

"Something tells me this is gonna get worse before it gets better," said Fenix.

"Something is telling me the same thing," Nyte said, slinking back a little a first, before running back to the tunnel they came from for cover.

Steel placed the explosives against the wall and began to set the timer. "But how long should we give it to clear out?" he asked. But before anyone could answer, he said, "Oh, why bother, when we're all in such a hurry?!" With that, he set the timer to 0 and hit the "ON" key.

Xenos had already started shifting his mech into a defensive mode when Steel's words registered. "Holy crap, we're all doomed!"

Janine grabbed Fenix and Xenos and skedaddled, while Nyte set his Buster to shield mode, huddled, and braced himself. The massive explosion sent everyone sprawling as Steel squealed like a mouse in a cat lounge.

Through the thick black smoke, coughing could be heard as Xenos uttered a single word: "Why?"

A pair of white eyes appeared before him, leading the Air Pirate to the only logical conclusion: "Aaaaahhhh! More zombies!"

The voice that went with the eyes spoke up in Steel's familiar voice. "Wow! That was fun! Good thing my armor is already black, huh?"

Unfortunately for him, Xenos had already reared back, and it was no sooner than the words had left Steel's mouth that his swift punch at the eyes connected, sending the Digger flying.

"Got it!" Xenos exclaimed triumphantly. "Take that, mother–"

"Zombies don't go, 'urk,'" Fenix said.

While Steel laid flattened out as the smoke began to dissipate, babbling about how everything was spinning, Nyte shut off his shield and asked, "Why did I leave the house today?"

"Your mother is here?" Steel said, as he staggered back over to the group. "What a bad place for a mother to be."

Fenix was ready to die laughing, but Steel continued on.

"So, where is she?" he asked, looking first at Fenix, then at Janine. "Ohhhh!!! So that's her!"

"He's not my son," Janine huffed. "I don't even think I'm capable of reproduction..."

"Oh, so he's adopted!"

"...adopted?"

"Dude," said Xenos. "She's a Reaverbot... sorta."

At that, Steel screamed. "Where?!" He then transformed his arms into cannon mode and started spraying down the area with blasts.

While the others ducked and covered, Janine calmly walked over to Steel and grabbed him by the top of the head, turning his face towards her. "Calm. Down."

Suddenly, Steel seemed to just do that. At least until his eyes widened, and blood began trickling out of his nose, causing Janine to let go and step back.

"Are you sure he doesn't seem different now?" Nyte asked Fenix in a hushed tone.

"Sorrysorrysorrysorry!!!" Steel said.

"Eh, maybe a little," Fenix said to Nyte.

"Yeah," Xenos said to Steel. "We guys are prone to that... apparently."

"So!" said Nytetrayn. "Is the wall gone?"

As they looked over to where Steel had nearly blown them all to Kingdom Come, the wall had indeed collapsed. Unfortunately, this resulted in a small pile of dirt falling through, which blocked any sort of passageway through.

"...I hate you," Xenos said to Steel.

"Looks like the tunnel is surrounded by earth," said Fenix. "Which is to be expected, considering we're underground!"

"Does this mean we need more explosives?" Steel asked, perking up.

"No!" shouted Xenos.

"Aww, alright," Steel said, pouting. "Well, why don't we use those things?"

"What things?" Nyte asked.

Steel pointed up to the giant hands that had been lurking in the shadows above. "Those! They dropped me in here from the entrance! Maybe they can get us to the other side of the rubble!"

"I don't think we could," said Xenos.

"Sure we could! We just have to talk to them nicely! Maybe the hands can dig the earth away for us? I'll try asking!"

"...you do that," said Nyte.

"Hey, Mister Hand!" Steel shouted up into the darkness of the ceiling. "Could you lend us a 'hand'?" With that, he looked at the others with a huge smile, indicating he was very proud of that pun.

"It hurts, Janine," said Xenos, cradling his head in his hands. "It hurts..." She just patted him on the head.

The nearest hand dropped down next to Steel.

"I'm getting back in the tunnel before this gets ugly and dangerous," said Nytetrayn.

"See? I told y–" Steel said, before the hand thumped the fool through the pile of rubble, leaving a nice hole. It then ascended back into the shadows, making some noise that sounded like "jackass."

"That was interesting," said Fenix.

"They can speak English?!" Xenos said.

"They can speak?!" said Nyte.

A scream could be heard coming from Steel in the next chamber.

After a pause, Fenix said, "Let's go."

"Must we?" asked Nyte.

"Please," begged Xenos. "My IQ is lowering rapidly."

"Aw, but he's so cute!" said Janine.

"Oh, alright."

As the group proceeded through the hole, they could see Steel huddled in a corner, clutching at something that had been mangled badly. His head was hung, and shadows were cast over him.

Fenix walked over and squatted down beside him. "You alright?"

Holding the mangled object outward, Steel said with a heartbroken look on his face, "I squished my bread."

Xenos sputtered. "You squished your... You had... You're crying over... bread?!"

"Not just bread! Potato bread!"

Janine patted Xenos on the head, consoling him. "It's alright..."

Nytetrayn dug through his bag, and pulled out a pack of crackers. "Will these do?"

"Yay!" shouted Steel, as he thanked him profusely and offered Zenny in return, but was refused. "Thank you!" he said cheerfully. "Now, uh, should we keep going?"

"Sure," said Nytetrayn.

"Yes, we probably should, before something tries to kill us," said Fenix. "Again."

As if on cue, Steel looked at the magnetic gun again as he munched on his crackers. "Perhaps he could make them a bit crispier," he thought, before attempting to put theory into practice.

"Put the gun down, before you hur–" Xenos started to say, but it was too late, as the blast missed the crackers and hit the Air Pirate instead.

"Oops," said Steel, as Xenos screamed. Janine yelped as well, and tried to dodge the electrical discharge. "Sorry!" said the Digger. "Crackers are smaller than bread, so... um, yeah. Does that hurt?"

"Just a bit," Xenos squeaked.

"Will it make you feel better if we all get shocked?" Steel asked, aiming the gun at everyone, as though he believed this to be the logical course of action.

The rest of the group shouted him down.

"Oh, okay. Well, how about some crackers?"

The group went on down the hallway, which continued for a short time before arriving at another hall, this one going off to the side. As before, it was recognizable as leading to a small room.

The room itself appeared empty. Like the previous room, this one had another small alcove containing a metallic object. However, on the other wall leaned a bizarre, intricately-decorated weapon which resembled a javelin made entirely from metal.

As Nytetrayn picked up the javelin to examine it, Steel went over to the alcove to see if he could find something else to attach to his magnetic gun. There, he found a small metal bar, around which a thick copper wire was coiled. A cluster of connecting mechanisms at one end indicated it was meant to connect with something.

"Maybe that's the thing that aims the electric gun thingy," Janine suggested.

"Alright!" Steel exclaimed as he plugged the piece into his magnetic gun, then started waving it around casually. "Hey, guys! Look at this!"

"Just don't aim that thing at me," Nyte said.

Suddenly, a hideous cry erupted out from behind where the Diggers stood. Now blocking their way out of the room was a creature very much like the small creatures encountered earlier, only unlike them with its greater proportions: longer jaws, more jagged teeth, and standing at nearly nine feet tall.

As Xenos and Janine stood in shock at the sight, Fenix and Nytetrayn opened fire with their respective Gatling weapons. However, their efforts were for naught, as the monster cackled and drooled while their shots simply bounced off its leathery skin.

"Wow. Big teeth," Steel said with eyes widened. "Should I shoot at them?"

"Yes!" shouted Fenix, while Xenos moved to stand between it and Janine, opening fire with his plasma cannons. Janine joined in with some blasts of her own.

Black Steel pointed the magnetic gun at the creature and opened fire, only for the electricity to whip out in a strange arc and strike the javelin.

"Hey! That's it!" he shouted as he ran for the spear and attempted to attach it to the gun. However, he soon realized that there were no connecting parts from the spear.

"Whuh? Hmm..."

As the monster shrieked and stumbled backwards, the onslaught of attacks started to wear on its hide, forming holes that caused blood to spray everywhere.

Fenix would have facepalmed, if only he'd had a free hand to do so. "Hit it with the spear!" he shouted at Steel.

With that, Steel lifted the weapon up and ran over to the beast before stabbing it. He then leaped back, and fired his magnetic gun. The monster screamed alien words as electricity ran through the spear and directly into its insides.

Janine stared in horrified fascination as the monster slumped to the ground, where it lay still.

"So that's what that thing is for," Fenix said.

Steel walked over and pulled the spear out in dramatic fashion as his darkened face looked upon the others.

"Awesome!" he said, bouncing off down the chamber towards whatever else awaits. "Maybe the next one will explode!"

"Well, he's very enthusiastic," said Fenix.

"Indeed," Nyte said. "And somehow, scarier than everything else we've run into down here."

Janine looked up at Xenos. "You stood in front of me..."

"...yeah," Xenos said, a little sheepishly.

Janine smiled. "It's gratifying to think that you guys don't just want a piece of my ass."

She then skipped off down the hall after Black Steel, while Xenos shifted his mech's mode and rolled after her, with Nyte and Fenix bringing up the rear.

Author Notes October 10, 2022: So, as I was writing this, it did not escape my notice that this chapter had a bit more than the usual amount of strangeness in it.

As I note at the end of each one of these, this story is currently based on a series of freeform RPG sessions that my friends and I ran a long time ago (that will change, eventually), and at this point in time, we were still coming to grips with who our characters were and how they would be portrayed -- some more than others, as you might imagine. Plus, some people's schedules weren't as flexible as others, forcing us to get, well, creative with how to explain their absence. In this case, The Legend of Zelda proved particularly inspiring.

With that said, things start to come together and solidify more after this. Plus, several of us are continuity nuts, and so some things would either come back around later, which is why I left certain parts unchanged. (You would be surprised at the ripple effect one seemingly innocuous change can have later on in something like this, as I've discovered several times already in the course of writing this.)

In short: This chapter was particularly symptomatic of growing pains, but trust me, we get over them pretty quickly.

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