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Fan Fiction by LBD "Nytetrayn"
Legends of the Halcyon Era
Episode 22 - Fenix's New Pet
A new day dawned. Nytetrayn and Celeste were sitting in the kitchen, eating some cereal, when a horrified scream echoed from Fenix's room.
After a brief pause to acknowledge the sound, Nyte shrugged and went back to eating, and Celeste followed suit.
Fenix entered the kitchen, panting heavily. "That was probably the scariest thing I have ever had happen to me!"
"I told you that full-length mirror was a bad idea," Nyte said. "Hell, anything above the neck is asking for trouble."
As he sat down, Fenix tossed Nytetrayn a data slug, which he caught. "Here, Nyte, you can gratify yourself with this."
"I don't think this will show me anything I haven't seen from Janine before," Nyte said, putting it down.
"It might."
"What, has she moved on to bathing in foods now?"
"Actually, certain powers would have us believe that that tape features Celeste."
Nyte spit out his cereal, covering Fenix's face. "'Certain powers'?" Nytetrayn asked. "And what 'powers' might these be?"
Celeste, meanwhile, didn't know what to say, though she did offer Fenix a napkin.
"I think Jan edited the tape and stuck Celeste's head on her body," Fenix said, as he wiped the cereal away.
"...the hell?"
"She did a good job, it looks seamless."
"Weird. Where is Janine, anyway?"
"Dunno."
"I hate to ask, but... how could you tell?"
"Weeeeell... three reasons, actually. "First of all, if Cel was on this tape, I highly doubt she would be posing for the camera."
Nyte nodded, while Celeste just continued to listen.
"Secondly, as immeasurably beautiful and gorgeous as our young friend is, she does not buy her bras with cups in the multiple D sizes, nor do her assets defy gravity in a way that would make the whole point of a bra pretty much moot."
Celeste blushed a little, not exactly sure what to say to that.
"Thirdly," Fenix was about to continue, when he looked at the two and stopped himself. "Um... oh, you know what? I forgot the third reason," he said, unconvincingly. "Just trust me, it was... er, believable."
Nyte coughed. "Okay... so, the question is..."
"Oh, that reminds me! I want to show you something, Cel. Follow, if you will," he said, beckoning her with his finger as he got up and walked out of the kitchen. Celeste looked at Nytetrayn, and then followed.
"...going to have to wait, apparently," Nyte said as he took a big spoonful of cereal, and followed as well.
Fenix waited for the two over at the bathroom door, then – still clothed – stepped into the bathtub/shower stall, then gestured for Celeste to join him. She hesitated for a second, then did so.
"Alright, now," he said, pointing. "You see that one black tile up there?"
Celeste nodded slowly.
"Alright, that's where the camera is. Wave for it. Underneath you may notice a switch. One side is labeled 'on', and the other is labeled 'off'."
Celeste nodded again.
"With this switch, you may now turn off the camera whenever you enter the shower, thus ensuring that we never have an accident again! Oh, and you might want to flick it before you remove your clothing, because I almost had a heart attack when I saw Jan's little joke."
"So," Fenix said, arms crossed triumphantly. "Any questions?"
Celeste raised her hand slightly.
"Yes, the lovely lady down in front!"
"Okay... but since there are three of us here who I think don't want to be on camera, and only one who does, why not just keep the camera switched off by default?"
Fenix stared at Celeste for a moment, his optics visibly blinking off and then on again as he processed this information.
"Hey, Jan!" he shouted, as he ran out of the bathroom. "Where are you, Jan?! You'll never believe the idea I just had!"
Nytetrayn swallowed his cereal. "But..." he started to interject, but Celeste stopped him as they watched Fenix run around the apartment. "Let him have this one. I think he needs the win right now more than I do..."
Fenix soon returned to the bathroom. "Okay! Now that that's taken care of, Nyte! You wanted to ask me something?"
"Just wondering why Jan would do that. Guess now I know – to give you a heart attack."
"Yes, what's your point?"
"No point. I'd just been wondering."
"It's probably in revenge for that thing I pulled with 'the claw' the other night."
"Claw?" Nyte asked.
"Yeah, I put together an attachment for my arm. It works just like my normal hand, except its a bit less pointy, and has a vi–"
"No," Nyte said. "You: Shut up. Me: Back to cereal. I never asked."
Nyte returned to the kitchen, went to the cupboard, pulled out a glass, and poured Fenix a drink. He gave it to Fenix, and as Fenix looked at the glass, he could see the letters "STFU" frosted into the side. Fenix chuckled, then poured it over Nyte's head.
"Anyhow! I'm off to the ruins. Rumor has it they've opened up a new basement level and it's inhabited by walking Reaverbot asses that crap refractors."
After a bit of liquid dropped to the floor from the drooping point of one of Nyte's strands of hair, he pounced on Fenix, and the two brawled, rolling into the living room in a cloud of dust. Fenix yowled like a cat and whacked Nyte over the head with his mechanical hand, which caused the younger Digger to reel back more from disgust than pain.
"Bastard," Nyte muttered. "I HOPE ONE OF THOSE REAVERBOTS SITS ON YOUR HEAD!"
Fenix cackled maniacally. "Actually, I anticipate being attacked by Reaverbot wolverines, but the chance of shoving you into a giant ass is too good to pass up! I am off!" With that, Fenix ran out of the apartment, giggling.
"I should probably do some digging, too," Nytetrayn told Celeste, as he toweled off his hair. "But I have something else to do today..."
Just then, Janine entered, and she looked quite pleased with herself. "Rent's been paid for the month!"
"Glad to hear it," said Nyte.
"Yup, he loved that video. Cel, if I were you, I'd avoid Dick for the next little while.... um, he might stare at you for some reason I know nothing about."
"Fenix told us about the tape, Jan. 'Twasn't very nice."
Janine stared for a moment. "How would he know...?"
Nyte tossed the video device to Jan. "Through screaming and agony, I gathered."
Janine caught the device and stared. "Wait... if this was in his machine..."
Nyte continued. "Dunno how you pulled it off, or why, but..."
"...then what did I just give Richard...?"
At that moment, a piercing scream could be heard from the manager's office.
"Maybe you should look into –"
"Oh, THAT video."
"WHAT video?"
"The one where Fenix and I took a tumble in the shower... and I superimposed your face over mine...?"
Nyte stared at Jan, mouth agape.
"That was the one I meant to leave in Fenix's machine. Damn..."
"May I ask what in God's name you're doing superimposing images of our heads over your body?"
"Um, I thought it was funny?"
"Please don't do that again."
"Okay, seriously: Dick is a bit of a pervert, and he threatened to kick us out if I didn't give him a tape of Celeste. So, I compromised."
Nyte, eyes in disbelief, looked at Celeste.
"Um... I GUESS it's okay," she said, looking a little weirded out by the whole thing. "If that's what we have to do to have a place to live... and all..."
"Then that gave me the idea to do it to the other tape, 'cause Fenix got a bit too frisky with his "claw" the other night."
"And here, he thought the Celeste one was the revenge."
"He would," Janine frowned.
Nyte sighed.
"I'm just glad I didn't put it where you could see it, you'd have locked yourself in the bathroom for a week."
"Dunno about that, given the camera is in there and all," Nyte said. Standing up straight, he said, "Know what? I have things to do." And as he headed to his room to switch clothes, he turned back to Janine. "Might want to get that tape back and apologize before we're all out on our asses."
Janine shrugged. "Alright. Sorry about this, Celeste. And seriously, if Dick accosts you, give him a good swift kick in the sweetbreads."
Celeste nodded. "It's okay, I guess? Just... lemme know about it first next time?" she said nervously.
"Um... okay. I thought it would be better if you didn't know, but I guess you're right."
Nyte stepped out of his room, and nodded to the two ladies. "By the way, you two need anything while I'm out?"
"More video storage devices."
"...we'll see."
Janine smiled.
Then Nyte said, "Hey, maybe you can do me a favor: make a video with Dick's head on your body with Fenix in the shower. Do that, and I get your video stuff."
"...why?"
"And leave it in Fenix's player."
"Ah," Janine said, catching on. "Deal!"
"I like the concept, but the execution left something to be desired. Alright, I'm gone," Nyte said, as he finally departed. While Nytetrayn was off around town, he made a stop by the post office to send something away.
As Celeste was about to make her way back to the kitchen, Janine told her, "Alright Cel, I'm gonna go give this to the Dick, seeya later!" With that, Janine gave her a quick hug, a pat on the butt, and was gone.
"'Kay, seeya..." said a slightly-perturbed Celeste.
Moments later, Fenix re-entered the apartment, cackling maniacally. "Hey, Nyte! You in?"
"Um, he went out," Celeste called out to him from the kitchen.
"Ah, damn," said the masked Digger. "Oh well, he'll have a nice surprise when he gets home."
Celeste peeked out from the kitchen. "You found your Reaverbot...?"
"Nooooooooot exactly," said Fenix. Turning to the door to the apartment, he called out, "Here, Plissken! Here, boy!"
At that, a three-foot Reaverbot cobra entered the apartment. It slithered over to Fenix and scaled the Digger's tall frame by coiling itself around him.
"Isn't he cute?" he asked.
"Uh... yeah!" Celeste said nervously.
At that, Plissken's hood spread open, and it bit into Fenix's hand a few times in succession.
"Yeow!" he shouted. "Aww, somebody's got a case of the love-bites!" Fenix said with adulation, tickling the Reaverbot snake underneath its chin as a long, forked tongue flicked from its mouth.
Plissken then slithered over to where Celeste was standing, and she backed away, growing more fearful by the moment. The Reaverbot reared its head back, then spat a jewelry-sized refractor shard at her feet.
"Aw, how sweet!" Fenix said. "He gave you a present!"
"W-wait... does this mean the rumors...?"
"...may have been a little off, yeah. And he's not big enough to shove Nyte into, sadly, so that bit's out."
Celeste continued to stare at Plissken, and looked a little uncomfortable.
"Maybe I should put a muzzle on him, or something."
Celeste just kind of nodded.
Plissken started to wrap himself around Celeste's leg. She'd have shrieked, had she not managed to cover her mouth first. Part of her wanted to shake it off, the rest too terrified to make any sudden movements.
"Relax, he did that to me too. It's a gesture of affection."
"...I... er... um..."
Plissken slithered his way off Celeste's leg, and off into other parts of the apartment.
"Um, know what? I need to go do some things myself, actually... I think Janine might be back soon," Celeste said, as she grabbed her jacket and briskly headed for the door. "Be back later! Don't wait up!"
Celeste breathed a sigh of relief against the apartment door once she got outside. Meanwhile, Fenix shrugged and set about trying to figure out what to feed a Reaverbot cobra.
After wandering around Monroe to collect herself a bit, Celeste came up with an idea, and went to the post office, where she sent away a letter. Later, she wound up running into Nytetrayn, and they went off to get some groceries.
Eventually, Nytetrayn and Celeste arrived back at the apartment.
"Hey, Jan, got your video stuff!" Nyte announced as they entered.
Janine wasn't interested, however. Janine was sitting on the couch as she stared straight ahead with her legs hugged up to her chest, her eyes bugged out to almost humorous proportions.
Upon spotting the returning roommates, Janine zipped over and grabbed Celeste up in a powerful hug that lifted the shorter woman off the ground, and began sobbing into her shoulder.
"Something... wrong?" asked Nyte, while all Celeste could manage was a weirded-out expression.
"Giant snake!!!" Janine said between sobs and burying her face in Celeste's shoulder again.
"Uh-oh," said Celeste.
"...the hell?" asked Nytetrayn.
"I guess I should've told y–MMPH!" Celeste began to say, when Janine held her even tighter, forcing her face into the Bureaucratic Unit's considerable cleavage. Celeste struggled to breathe for a moment, before Janine loosened her grip enough to give her air. Celeste gasped.
"It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen!" Janine said.
"Whoa, back up," said Nyte. "What's going on now?"
"I had a hallucination! I thought Fenix was being followed around by a giant snake! It wrapped itself around my leg!" Janine said, tearfully, before she sank to her knees and pushed her face into Celeste's and resumed sobbing.
Celeste looked to Nytetrayn, still weirded out and unsure what to do. Nyte looked confused as well.
"Um, c'mon, Celeste, let's go put these away..."
Celeste nodded and tried to follow Nyte into the kitchen, despite Janine's sobbing. Janine eventually let go, and remained kneeling there on the floor, sniffling.
"That was worse than the kangaroo's thumping," Janine said to herself. "SO worse..."
As they started to put groceries and items away, Nyte asked, "What in the green hell was that about?"
"You don't want to know..."
Nyte just nodded, when a squeaking noise sounded from behind them. He and Celeste slowly turned around to behold Plissken as he slithered over to the fridge, nudged it open, grabbed a can of soda in its jaws, and slithered out. Janine let out a frightened wail, and was suddenly sitting atop Nyte's shoulders, eyes wide in horror.
"What... is THAT?" Nyte asked, eyes wide with disbelief.
"It wants to eat me!" Janine wailed.
"That's somehow ironic," Nyte said. "Jeez, it's like we're adopting Reaverbots right and left around here now. Er, no offense."
"None taken."
"Okay," Nyte said, taking a deep breath. "We obviously need to talk to Fenix about this."
"It coiled around my leg earlier," Celeste said sheepishly.
Nyte looked at Celeste in disbelief. "Definitely need to talk to him about this."
Janine suddenly enveloped Celeste in a motherly, albeit squishy, hug. "Oh, you poor dear!"
"...mmmph!!!" was all she could say in reply.
Janine patted her on the head. "Smother your fear in my bosom. That's it..."
"Something of hers is about to smother, alright," said Nyte, who had an altogether unamused look on his face. "Now, where is he?"
"Dunno," Janine said as she released Celeste from her iron grip. "I just came home a little while ago and found the snake here."
Free at last, Celeste started to take short, frequent breaths.
"I wonder if there is a way to lure it into Fenix's room," Nyte pondered.
"Don't startle it," Janine warned. "It spits refractors at high velocity."
Nyte looked to Celeste, who nodded.
Time passed, with Nytetrayn, Celeste, and a shivering Janine all sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for Fenix to arrive. In the meantime, Plissken had made himself at home on the living room sofa, watching TV and occasionally taking a sip of his soda by lifting the can up with his tail. Eventually, they heard the front door, and their quarry walked in, carrying a shopping bag.
"Fenix," said Nyte.
"Hey, Nyte! Wassup?"
"We need to talk. It has come to my attention that the snake sitting on the couch in the living room, drinking a soda and watching TV, is yours. Care to explain?"
"It's my new pet, Plissken. I found him in the ruins. Ain't he cute?"
"...charming," Nyte said dryly. Janine, who still looked traumatized, buried her head in Celeste's chest.
"He's freaking out the girls," Nyte continued. "Or she... it's a Reaverbot, does it even have a gender?"
Nyte turned to Janine. "Er, no offense."
Janine uttered a muffled "None taken" in reply.
Fenix shrugged. "I have no idea. And they just need to get used to him."
"...'him,'" Nyte repeated.
"He gave Cel a present, didn't he, Cel? Show 'im the refractor he gave you."
Celeste shook her head, as she tried to comfort Janine. "I didn't even pick it up..."
After a moment of shocked silence, Fenix said, "What? You don't like him?"
"Putting likes and dislikes aside for a second, when did this become a boarding house for Reaverbots, anyway?" " Nyte said, as he put his head face down on the table and covered it with his hands. "Does the landlord even allow us to have... those...?"
"But... but he was all alone, and scared, and he didn't have anybody," Fenix said tearfully. "He needs me."
Janine raised her head from Celeste's bosom. "Can you make it stop wrapping itself around our legs?"
Fenix raised his eyebrows as Celeste nodded in agreement with Janine. "Plissken!" he called.
"Dear God, it has a name..?" said Nyte.
Plissken slowly slithered into the kitchen.
"Plissken, what did I tell you about wrapping yourself around peoples' legs? Someone could trip, or develop an affinity for bondage! Shame on you!"
Plissken shuffled and hung his head in an ashamed manner.
"Now, apologize!"
Plissken slithered up onto the table in front of Celeste and Janine, dropped a pair of brilliant rainbow-colored refractor shards before them, and then hurried back over to hide behind Fenix's leg.
"Fenix... I'm not sure they're comfortable with picking up stuff that's produced in a way that usually results in a lethal venom."
"They're just refractor shards! It's a Reaverbot! It drops refractors! That never bothered you before!"
Nyte's expression grew a little more frustrated.
"What? You're allowed to bring girls home whenever you want, and I can't even have a pet snake?"
"He has a point," said Janine. "His habit of dropping refractors might even make up for all the money we lost when you gave away that giant refractor."
Celeste lowered her eyes, looking kind of hurt by the comparison, as well as the whole refractor incident.
"Okay," said Nytetrayn, as he pulled a loupe out to examine one of the refractors Plissken had dropped. "One, these are fake. Or at the very least, don't produce any energy. Two," he said, turning to Janine, "whose side are you on?" He turned back to Fenix with a sigh. "And three..."
"I just compared Celeste to a snake, didn't I?"
Janine and Nyte both nodded at Fenix, the latter adding a punch in the arm for good measure.
"I didn't mean it like that!"
"...and do you HAVE to bring the giant refractor thing up?" Nyte added. "Jeez, what would you two have done?"
"Eh, alright," Fenix said. "If you all can't stand him... I guess..."
Nyte sighed. "I dunno. I'm not TOO bothered by it... I mean, I live with you. I'm more bugged that the girls are so bugged."
Plissken nudged Fenix's leg sadly. Fenix patted him on the head and gave Nyte the finger as he went, the snake following.
Nyte turned back to Jan and Cel. "Great, now I feel bad for that stupid thing. And a little for Plissken, too. Anyway, what do you two think? If I even need to ask, that is."
The sound of slithering away could be heard, and Fenix came back inside and went to his room, tears spotting the carpet.
"Ohboy," said Nytetrayn.
"It still scares the bejesus out of me," Janine said with a tearful look.
"It's kinda... weird... even after everything I've seen since waking up," Celeste added, still looking a little disturbed.
Plissken suddenly appeared in the door, and fired a barrage of high-velocity refractor shards over their heads, before taking off. The three looked, and noticed that the refractors were embedded in the wall in a particular pattern: "i lov u dady".
"Aww, jeez..." said Nyte.
"It's probably supposed to be touching," said Janine, "but now I'm even more disturbed."
"I don't know what to think anymore," Celeste said plainly.
"Well, right now I'm more worried about Fenix," Janine said. "And after that, I can think of only one surefire way to cheer him up."
"Show him that video I asked you to make?" Nyte asked.
"Not just. Cel, you're going to have to take one for the team. Let's go have a threesome."
Celeste looked nervous and turned away, as she started to sweat and turn all sorts of shades of red.
"Jeez, Jan, don't do that to the girl."
"Sorry, I can't help myself!" Jan said cheerfully. "She's so cute when she blushes!"
Celeste calmed a bit once she realized that Jan was just kidding, and laid her head on the table. Jan patted her on the back.
"So," Nyte said. "Weather's a-changing, Christmas is a-coming..."
"Indeed," replied Janine. "So tell me, how does one celebrate this 'Kriss-mahs'?"
"Usually with the exchange of gifts," Nyte said. "And maybe a big, decorated pine tree."
Janine looked at Nyte quizzically, while Celeste listened. "A pine tree?"
"Yeah. Dunno why."
"Oh wait, I remember that. I thought those were used for crushing your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women?"
"...there goes the Christmas spirit."
"Well we don't HAVE to use it for that."
"Anyways, usually being with family, friends, exchanging gifts... um..." Nyte tried to think of what else.
"...family?" Janine asked.
"Er, yeah..."
"Don't tell Fenix we're inviting his dad over, then."
"Ah, well... wasn't planning on anything like that... most people celebrate with their families."
"Hmm, you know... we're kind of like a family here on our own!"
"Yeah!" Nyte said. "Exactly!"
"Fenix and I are the mom and dad, you and Cel are the kids, and Xenos and Radi are the odd couple across the street!"
"Er... yeah. That... that works... I guess..."
Janine looked pleased with herself. "Alright, well, if I need presents, I'd better go shopping!"
"What about Fenix?" Nyte asked.
"Oh, in all honesty? I think he probably just needs some time alone right now."
"Yeah, I guess that tracks."
"Hmmm.... I wonder what you all would like," Janine said, as she pursed her lips in thought.
Author Notes: For those wondering, the art of Plissken in the banner is a repurposed Slitherfang from Transformers - War for Cybertron: Earthrise.