Fan Fiction by LBD "Nytetrayn"
Legends of the Halcyon Era
Episode 34 - New Neighbor
![Covers by LBD "Nytetrayn" and Victor Campan. Character art by Victor Campan. Logos by Tabby Ramsey and EFEXTEX.](fan/nytetrayn/01-34.png)
After making sure Adam Powers was okay and giving their farewells to Alpha-Red, the rest of the group headed back for their home, and soon arrived at their apartment – with Tom Morrow tagging along. "Any vacancies here?" he asked Nytetrayn, as the Digger unlocked the door.
"Dunno," said Nytetrayn. "I don't think there's anyone living next to us."
"One way to find out..."
"Yeah, go talk to the landlord."
Tom hobbled off to do just that, as Janine chuckled unpleasantly. Nytetrayn let out a breath of relief, and tossed his pack into his bedroom.
Over at the landlord's office, which was situated in a separate building behind the one the others occupied, Tom entered to find that the lights were out. "Weird... Uh, h'lo?"
The landlord, Dick, soon appeared. As he entered the office from another room, he shrugged on a threadbare robe. "You rang?"
"Uh, yeah. Any vacancies here? I need a place."
"I got one available, yeah."
"Aight..."
"Say, you're not a Digger, are you? I don't rent out to Diggers no more."
"Uh..."
"Not unless you're married."
"No, I'm a..." Tom spotted a pinup of Janine in the back of the office, and snapped his fingers. "I know Janine."
The landlord perked up at the mention of her name. "Excellent! You get a discount!" With that, he slapped down a contract in front of Tom.
Tom read it over. "...twice a month... thirty minutes per payment? Wha?" After taking a look at the top of the form, he told Dick, "Wrong one. It's labeled, 'Special Contract.'"
"Nope, that's the right one alright. If you know her, she shouldn't complain. She already pays for those other guys."
"Uh, okay. Plan B it is, then." Tom pointed his Buster in Dick's face. "Money. She already probably hates me."
The stunned landlord stared at Tom silently for a moment, blinked, and then said with exuberance, "Sure! Money works!"
"Why, thank you. How much?"
Dick wrote the contract in a flash, and was suddenly the nicest landlord this side of Hell's creation. Tom wasn't quite sure whether it was the Buster or the promise of cash that spurred the abrupt change in demeanor, but either way, he'd take it.
"Here you go!" Dick said, as he handed the form over.
"Lemme read the fine print..."
"Sure, sure..."
"Wow. Honest. Okay, here's down payment." Tom signed, and offered up beaucoup refractors from his take at the strange ruin they'd just visited.
"Thank you, sir, and enjoy your stay!" Dick said, as he handed Tom a key. "You're in Room 4-B, right next to the other weirdos – er, tenants."
"Thanks," Tom said, as he took the key and walked out, growing more depressed as he left the room.
Tom walked around to the front of the building where the others stayed, and took note of there only being two units in all. "4-B, huh?" he mused to himself. "I wonder what happened to the other three?"
Tom unlocked the door to 4-B and entered the apartment, looking around briefly before depositing his remaining refractors in a drawer in the bedroom. He set down his pack, and smushed a roach in the process. "Need some pesticide, but other than that? This is kinda nice."
Removing the armor plating on his stomach revealed a wound from Xenos' bomb, which he then tended to.
A while later, Nytetrayn and Celeste were sitting at opposite ends of the living room sofa, while Fenix and Janine sat on the floor, each holding the other in a possessive, yet kind of sweet way. They were watching TV, until a knock came at the door, followed by a muffled "H'lo?"
"I'll get it," Nyte said, as he got up and opened the door to find Tom on the other side.
"Heya," he said. "I got the room next to yours."
Fenix's eyes widened behind his visor. "Oh god..."
"Hold me," Janine whimpered.
Tom smiled weakly, and asked, "Man, is it kinda bright in here?" as he shielded his eyes.
"That would be the lights," Nyte replied.
"Well, yeah, but... ah, nothing. Just wanted to say hi."
"Oh, okay. Hi. Be seein' ya'." With that, Nyte closed the door.
After a stunned pause, Tom sighed and just walked away. "You'd think he'd invite me in..."
Nyte sat back down on the sofa. "You'd think after coming here, he'd want to do more than just say 'hi'."
"I think he might've wanted to visit," Celeste said.
"...you think so?" Nyte asked. "Hell, why didn't he just say that?"
A thumping sound came from next door, and Nytetrayn had a sudden realization. "...next door. Fenix, isn't that the one...?"
Fenix chuckled darkly.
"...the one what?" Celeste asked.
"The one we turned down when we first got here?"
"You betcha," the masked Digger replied, perhaps a little too joyously.
"Ouch."
Three more thumps rang out, followed by a much louder thump.
Janine didn't look amused. In fact, she seemed to be staring off into the distance, as if she was remembering something traumatic..
"You had another apartment before this one?" Celeste asked.
"Not exactly..." Nyte said.
Three more loud thumps rang out, followed by Tom's voice shouting, "MY GOD!"
While Fenix was dying laughing, Nytetrayn stood up. "Alright, crew. New mission: We're getting housewarming gifts for our new neighbor. Specifically, bug bombs."
"I don't know," said Fenix. "I find it has a nice rhythm. You could almost dance to it." Just then, a really big thump loosened a piece of the ceiling, which dropped and bonked Fenix on the head. "Ehhh, fine..."
"I know you find it amusing," Nyte told Fenix, "but you've seen the place. You really want that during you and Jan's 'quality time'?"
"Oh, we'll drown out any sound he makes, trust me."
As if accepting the challenge, a c-click sound could be heard, followed by seven Buster rounds going off. After a moment's silence, an eighth followed, causing more ceiling tiles to drop.
"Watch this," Fenix said, as he went and banged on the wall, and Janine started to moan loudly.
"BACK, BEASTIES, BACK!" returned through the wall, soon followed by, "...oh god."
"How about we do it for the value of our own apartment? And I don't want us to have to keep dodging ceiling tiles." One began to fall down on Celeste. Nyte just blindly swatted it aside while watching Fenix and Janine go on. "That, and I have to sleep in here. I don't want to have to dodge tiles while sleeping, either."
"Fine, party-pooper."
A scream came through the wall.
"Jan," said Fenix, "you stay here and have girl talk with Celeste. Us men'll get the roach motels."
Fenix and Nytetrayn headed out, and before long, they returned with four gift-wrapped packages. Nyte handed Celeste and Janine each one, and told them, "Here, you two each take one, and let's go next door."
"O-kay..." said Janine, as she reluctantly took one.
"It's okay, Jan, we got the good kind," said Fenix. "These suckers don't just kill the roaches, they torture 'em! First the roach gets stuck to the floor of the motel, and then tiny mechanical arms rip off its legs! A tiny torch burns off its genitals, and then stuff ammonia-laced cotton balls into its mouth and anus, all the while beating it with its own disembodied limbs! best of all, there's a tiny window so you get to watch!"
Fenix was beaming happily, but Janine looked a little nervous, while Celeste had a shocked, almost horrified look on her face. "That sounds kind of cruel, even for roaches," she said.
"That, and they were on sale," said Nyte.
"Yeah, that, too," said Fenix.
Celeste sighed and took one of the boxes, then Nyte led the way next door and knocked.
Tom's voice rang out from inside. "Come in! Door's unlocked!"
Nyte opened the door, and Tom greeted the group from inside the darkened room. "Oh, hi!"
"Hello," said Nyte. "Happy homegetting, or something."
"Hey, chum!" Fenix said. "We got you housewarming gifts!"
"Sure did, catch!" Nyte said, as he tossed his to Tom. Fenix and Janine tossed theirs at his head, while Celeste just set hers aside on a piece of furniture. Fortunately for Tom, he successfully caught all the airborne packages.
"Wow, thanks! I can –" He paused to stomp something. "...use these!"
"Yeah," said Nyte. "We had an inkling."
"Yeah..."
"Oh, and earlier... did you want to come in or something?"
"Oh, yeah," Tom said, as he threw down one of the traps, which immediately became occupied. "But forget it."
Nyte turned to Celeste. "Guess you were right." She just nodded in return, and Janine smirked.
"S'alright," said Tom. "Well, thanks! Anything I can do for you?"
"Ignore the rhythmic thumping sound you might hear at night," Janine replied.
"I'm covered," Tom said, as he gave the wall a firm pat. "Soundproofing."
"Spiff," said Janine.
"You learn fast," added Fenix.
"I guessed," Tom said. "Say, you know Dick tried to make me pay in Janine?"
After a brief, awkward silence, Janine said with a sideways glance, "At least he didn't try to make you pay with Celeste."
Fenix raised an eyebrow. "Wait... how did he know you knew Janine?"
"He doesn't allow Diggers lodging. I saw a pinup, and guessed."
"O-kay... wait, you offered?!"
"Hell no! I said I know Janine, then I threatened to shoot him!"
"Ah, good man," said Janine, as she patted a pleased Tom on the head.
Nytetrayn looked at Fenix. "Surprised you never tried that."
"It... just never occurred to me..."
"That's proof: it's not the equipment, it's what you do with it." Tom looked around at his visitors. "Coffee?"
"Yes, I'm so sorry I never threatened a somewhat innocent man at gunpoint," Fenix retorted.
"Dick is innocent?" Nyte asked.
"Well, we thought he was... before he started displaying this disturbing fetish for young women with long brown hair."
"He wanted payment in Janine," said Tom. "That's the only reason I need."
Fenix narrowed his eyes, but Janine spoke up. "Well, I did offer..."
Tom said, "For you, yeah. It would just be rude to make you pay for me."
"True," Janine said, before wincing. "Oh dear, you made him mad, though. He's going to want a big one next time."
"I'll shoot him if he goes overboard!" Tom said.
"S'okay," Janine assured him. "I can handle it. I've got something I've been saving for a special occasion..."
"Okay," said Tom, satisfied. "Hey, not to rush you guys, but I got some work to do. So, seeya later, I guess?"
"No problem," said Nytetrayn. "That TV's not going to watch itself, y'know."
"S'okay... I'm kind of tired, anyway," said Janine. "Fenix...?" she said to the masked Digger, as she made puppy eyes. He chuckled and picked her up, grunting slightly. "Gotcha," he said. "G'nite, Tom."
Nyte just rolled his eyes at the pair. "Alrighty. Seeya, Tomorrow."
As they left, Tom said, "Ciao, all! I'll swing by sometime, return the roach hotel favor! Seeya!"
Back at their apartment, Nytetrayn and Celeste plopped back down on the sofa to watch TV. Fenix swept Janine into his bedroom, but emerged a short time later, closing the door behind him, eyes widened.
"What was that about?" Nyte asked.
"Nothing!" Fenix yelped. "I mean, nothing! Nothing at all." He plunked himself down on the sofa between the two, and draped a friendly arm around each of their shoulders. "So! Ahem, what are we watching?"
"Nothing, yet. Just surfing. Here, you pick something," Nyte said, as he tossed the remote into Fenix's groin. Fenix responded by trying to use the arm around Nyte's neck to reach down and get it, but the smaller Digger didn't let that go very far at all.
"Cool beans. Today's Saturday, right? Wrestling should be–" His attempt to reach the remote thwarted, Fenix yanked Nytetrayn into a headlock and then grabbed the remote. The latter let out an "ACK!" as he tried to whack Fenix about the head with his free hand, but the older Digger just chuckled from behind his helmet.
"Sonofa..." Nytetrayn began.
"Now, now, watch the language in front of Cel, here."
Nytetrayn just muttered something incoherent, then, "So, what else is on right now? Looks like there's a movie about some woman with a whip..."
"NO!" Fenix shouted.
Nytetrayn and Celeste looked at each other, then at Fenix.
"No, that's... hmm, soap operas, reality shows... ah, here we go! Sketch comedy, the second-highest form of art! You'll like these guys, Nyte, they're named after some old computer or something. Seems like your kinda thing."
With that, Fenix once more put his arms around his companions, and they watched slapstick antics and wordplay on into the night.